you're like a bully in the Christmas story
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
