People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Found your dick twin last night
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
