the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
