and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
