Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize