I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
This baby is an asshole
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My vagina is officially offended.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
