Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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