Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
