I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize