dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
