paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
