The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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