imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
