i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
