Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
