I have demons in me.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
