Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
