a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
