??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
