carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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