I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
