All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Even my vagina gasped.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
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