If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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