I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize