I'm eating all of the evidence.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
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