Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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