return my video game
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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