office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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