If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
