i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
