Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
