4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
