Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
