You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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