I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
