Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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