I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
