do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
this beer tastes like vomit already
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
