I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
false alarm, still single
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
