Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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