Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
