I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize