have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
