But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
