a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
