he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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