There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
