Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
