we're chasing vodka with high fives
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize