Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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