i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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