at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize