just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
