Define "chronic" masturbator.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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