Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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