Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
