I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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