I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize