all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
