just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize