It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's official drugs can't kill me
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
