I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Duck Duck Cougar?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize